Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Go Away and Who Cares
By Dubs
I can’t remember ever hating sports news (ESPN) as much as I do right now. There are very few things I loathe more than Brett Favre and the New York Yankees (aka Derek Jeter, you overrated ass-fingering, baby-eating, period-licking, dickfor. On the other hand, he does ball hot chicks).
This may be Satan’s way of letting us know the world is coming to an end.
With the continued saga of Favre’s un-retirement and the AS game being played at “historic” Yankee Stadium, I am bombarded with a literal shitstorm of contrived sentimentalism. I might just be hung-over, but I can hear my soul throwing up and its asshole begging for a break from the constant shit-love for these two sports “icons”.
We all know that Favre is the secret love-child of hokey, misinformed, traditionalist, white sports writers and John Madden, but the level of coverage and adoration shown to Douchey McDouchebag is as painful to watch and listen to as this:
The coverage of Favre’s un-retirement has gotten to a level I never thought it would get to…I agreed with Stephen A. Smith. SAS is one of those things I hate more than Farve and the Yankees (Jeter). So for me to agree with him actually makes me physically ill. Again, it could be the hangover, but I don’t think so. For me to actually agree with SAS is on par with cutting my soul’s throat (my soul is really taking an ass beating today).
I am just so sick of hearing about how “he plays like a kid.” Well, no. If he played like a kid he would just heave the ball in the general direction of a player on his team and hope for the best…wait, so maybe he plays like a kid, but common. The guy was a good quarterback, but do we really need to make him out to be the Holy Spirit of Football? Find something else to talk about so I don’t kill something…thanks ESPN.
Moving on…I hate the Yankees and anything Yankee related.
I am having a lot of trouble listening to all this shit about the last this and the last that at Yankee Stadium. Who gives a shit? For you Yankees fans (ESPN), enjoy, have a great time during the All-Star Game, but leave the rest of us out of it. We don’t need to hear about all the amazing shit that happened there. We get it, the Yankees are awesome, Jeter is the best, GO YANKEES!
I mean, what is going to happen when the season is over? New York is just going to sell a whole bunch of the supposed meaningful shit (I say shit in the most literal sense, because they will be selling urinals and toilets and shit) to the highest bidder that, you, New York sheet stains will buy with open, retarded arms.
Go be stupid, just leave us alone, please. And Favre, go fuck yourself…unless you become a Bear, then you are awesome.
I can’t remember ever hating sports news (ESPN) as much as I do right now. There are very few things I loathe more than Brett Favre and the New York Yankees (aka Derek Jeter, you overrated ass-fingering, baby-eating, period-licking, dickfor. On the other hand, he does ball hot chicks).
This may be Satan’s way of letting us know the world is coming to an end.
With the continued saga of Favre’s un-retirement and the AS game being played at “historic” Yankee Stadium, I am bombarded with a literal shitstorm of contrived sentimentalism. I might just be hung-over, but I can hear my soul throwing up and its asshole begging for a break from the constant shit-love for these two sports “icons”.
We all know that Favre is the secret love-child of hokey, misinformed, traditionalist, white sports writers and John Madden, but the level of coverage and adoration shown to Douchey McDouchebag is as painful to watch and listen to as this:
The coverage of Favre’s un-retirement has gotten to a level I never thought it would get to…I agreed with Stephen A. Smith. SAS is one of those things I hate more than Farve and the Yankees (Jeter). So for me to agree with him actually makes me physically ill. Again, it could be the hangover, but I don’t think so. For me to actually agree with SAS is on par with cutting my soul’s throat (my soul is really taking an ass beating today).
I am just so sick of hearing about how “he plays like a kid.” Well, no. If he played like a kid he would just heave the ball in the general direction of a player on his team and hope for the best…wait, so maybe he plays like a kid, but common. The guy was a good quarterback, but do we really need to make him out to be the Holy Spirit of Football? Find something else to talk about so I don’t kill something…thanks ESPN.
Moving on…I hate the Yankees and anything Yankee related.
I am having a lot of trouble listening to all this shit about the last this and the last that at Yankee Stadium. Who gives a shit? For you Yankees fans (ESPN), enjoy, have a great time during the All-Star Game, but leave the rest of us out of it. We don’t need to hear about all the amazing shit that happened there. We get it, the Yankees are awesome, Jeter is the best, GO YANKEES!
I mean, what is going to happen when the season is over? New York is just going to sell a whole bunch of the supposed meaningful shit (I say shit in the most literal sense, because they will be selling urinals and toilets and shit) to the highest bidder that, you, New York sheet stains will buy with open, retarded arms.
Go be stupid, just leave us alone, please. And Favre, go fuck yourself…unless you become a Bear, then you are awesome.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Down on the Farm: Andrew Cashner
This isn't the first time Andrew Cashner has been drafted, but it appears to be the last. The 19th overall pick has been drafted four times. First in 2005 out of high school by the Braves, then in 2006 by the Rockies, next in 2007 by the Cubs and then, finally, again by Chicago yesterday.
"It has been a long process," Cashner said. "I've come a long way since high school, and I think this year is finally the first year I have grown into my body and matured in a baseball standpoint....I left high school at 5-9, and I left TCU at 6-6, 190 pounds so I have come a long way."
Cashner has made tremendous strides physically in the past year, putting on weight and developing a 98-mph fastball and mid-80s power curve that has helped his stock rise from a 29th-round pick last year to a first-round pick 12 months later. The flame thrower attributes his success to a new diet and workout plan that awaited him after he transferred to Texas Christian University in the fall.
"[TCU] put me on a meal plan and a nutrition plan, and I sat down with our nutritionist and gained some weight. Then the strength coach helped me out a lot, and I put on a lot of muscle and got a lot stronger this year."
Bigger and stronger, Cashner has electric stuff, but it didn't fully translate into production until Cashner was made TCU's closer after being a lifetime starter. TCU head coach Jim Schlossnagle made the decision because of the lack of depth in the Horned Frogs bullpen.
At first, the move worried Cashner.
"To be frank, [Cashner] wasn't so sure," Schlossnagle said. "Most starting pitchers...feel that the pen is a demotion. We tried to convince him that if he can be really good at this, the elite college closers have done really well in the draft, and if they stay in the bullpen, they move to the big leagues real quick."
It only took one outing for Cashner to be convinced.
"In his very first opportunity against Cal State Fullerton in our second game of the season...he was 97-99 [mph] and needless to say he bought in pretty quick."
So far Schlossnagle has been right. Cashner was the first relief pitcher taken in the draft, and if he continues to grow as a pitcher, the green ivy of Wrigley Field could be on the horizon.
Tim Wilken, the Director of Amateur and Professional Scouting for the Cubs, couldn't agree more, but he is biding his time to decide what role the big righty will take.
"I think we are going to let this one take its own pace," Wilken said. "His delivery is pretty darn sound and is probably one of the better ones in this draft....He is comfortable in what he is doing...but he has started in the past.
"I think he's got good versatility and can go either way. We are very happy."
And what does the Texas native know of Chicago?
"I know that Wrigley Field is awesome and that they are in first place, and Lou Piniella is doing a great job with them."
Couldn't have been said much better.
-- Zach Martin
"It has been a long process," Cashner said. "I've come a long way since high school, and I think this year is finally the first year I have grown into my body and matured in a baseball standpoint....I left high school at 5-9, and I left TCU at 6-6, 190 pounds so I have come a long way."
Cashner has made tremendous strides physically in the past year, putting on weight and developing a 98-mph fastball and mid-80s power curve that has helped his stock rise from a 29th-round pick last year to a first-round pick 12 months later. The flame thrower attributes his success to a new diet and workout plan that awaited him after he transferred to Texas Christian University in the fall.
"[TCU] put me on a meal plan and a nutrition plan, and I sat down with our nutritionist and gained some weight. Then the strength coach helped me out a lot, and I put on a lot of muscle and got a lot stronger this year."
Bigger and stronger, Cashner has electric stuff, but it didn't fully translate into production until Cashner was made TCU's closer after being a lifetime starter. TCU head coach Jim Schlossnagle made the decision because of the lack of depth in the Horned Frogs bullpen.
At first, the move worried Cashner.
"To be frank, [Cashner] wasn't so sure," Schlossnagle said. "Most starting pitchers...feel that the pen is a demotion. We tried to convince him that if he can be really good at this, the elite college closers have done really well in the draft, and if they stay in the bullpen, they move to the big leagues real quick."
It only took one outing for Cashner to be convinced.
"In his very first opportunity against Cal State Fullerton in our second game of the season...he was 97-99 [mph] and needless to say he bought in pretty quick."
So far Schlossnagle has been right. Cashner was the first relief pitcher taken in the draft, and if he continues to grow as a pitcher, the green ivy of Wrigley Field could be on the horizon.
Tim Wilken, the Director of Amateur and Professional Scouting for the Cubs, couldn't agree more, but he is biding his time to decide what role the big righty will take.
"I think we are going to let this one take its own pace," Wilken said. "His delivery is pretty darn sound and is probably one of the better ones in this draft....He is comfortable in what he is doing...but he has started in the past.
"I think he's got good versatility and can go either way. We are very happy."
And what does the Texas native know of Chicago?
"I know that Wrigley Field is awesome and that they are in first place, and Lou Piniella is doing a great job with them."
Couldn't have been said much better.
-- Zach Martin
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