Go Away and Who Cares

By Dubs

I can’t remember ever hating sports news (ESPN) as much as I do right now. There are very few things I loathe more than Brett Favre and the New York Yankees (aka Derek Jeter, you overrated ass-fingering, baby-eating, period-licking, dickfor. On the other hand, he does ball hot chicks).

This may be Satan’s way of letting us know the world is coming to an end.

With the continued saga of Favre’s un-retirement and the AS game being played at “historic” Yankee Stadium, I am bombarded with a literal shitstorm of contrived sentimentalism. I might just be hung-over, but I can hear my soul throwing up and its asshole begging for a break from the constant shit-love for these two sports “icons”.

We all know that Favre is the secret love-child of hokey, misinformed, traditionalist, white sports writers and John Madden, but the level of coverage and adoration shown to Douchey McDouchebag is as painful to watch and listen to as this:



The coverage of Favre’s un-retirement has gotten to a level I never thought it would get to…I agreed with Stephen A. Smith. SAS is one of those things I hate more than Farve and the Yankees (Jeter). So for me to agree with him actually makes me physically ill. Again, it could be the hangover, but I don’t think so. For me to actually agree with SAS is on par with cutting my soul’s throat (my soul is really taking an ass beating today).

I am just so sick of hearing about how “he plays like a kid.” Well, no. If he played like a kid he would just heave the ball in the general direction of a player on his team and hope for the best…wait, so maybe he plays like a kid, but common. The guy was a good quarterback, but do we really need to make him out to be the Holy Spirit of Football? Find something else to talk about so I don’t kill something…thanks ESPN.

Moving on…I hate the Yankees and anything Yankee related.

I am having a lot of trouble listening to all this shit about the last this and the last that at Yankee Stadium. Who gives a shit? For you Yankees fans (ESPN), enjoy, have a great time during the All-Star Game, but leave the rest of us out of it. We don’t need to hear about all the amazing shit that happened there. We get it, the Yankees are awesome, Jeter is the best, GO YANKEES!

I mean, what is going to happen when the season is over? New York is just going to sell a whole bunch of the supposed meaningful shit (I say shit in the most literal sense, because they will be selling urinals and toilets and shit) to the highest bidder that, you, New York sheet stains will buy with open, retarded arms.

Go be stupid, just leave us alone, please. And Favre, go fuck yourself…unless you become a Bear, then you are awesome.